When?

And then I wonder...
When will I ever be "that" good?
When will I ever be "that" beautiful.
Full of insecurities, full of doubts and full of everything.

Will there be a time when I'll be good enough?
Will there be a time when I'll be someone?
Will there be a time when I'm contented?

How long will I have to wait for it?
How long will I have to endure it?
How long?
How long?

Full of questions, full of doubts and full of everything.
I want to have no more. I want to feel no more.
I want nothing anymore-- as to the point of I want something again.

Will there be a time when I finally realize I'm something?
If so, then please let it be now.
If so, then please give me a taste.. Even just a little bit.
At least show me a piece of heaven that will be waiting for me in the other end.

I cannot do this alone.
I cannot motivate myself in doing it.
I am not that strong.
I have no power over myself.
And I'm saddened by this...
I cannot help myself, you cannot help me.

Only he can help me.
My creator. My savior.
Please fill me with your guiding presence.
I am lost.. And I will forever be lost if you do not save me from myself.